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The What If Experience

Explore a new "What If..." question about life each week with some thoughts, some answers and some action steps. Share my journey of personal growth and living in possibility.
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Now displaying: Page 1
Oct 16, 2016

Before we can chat about what happens when you're not doing what you say is essential, we probably out to take a few minutes to talk about essentials. If you haven't read the book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown, you should. Greg defines Essentialism as the disciplined pursuit of less...but better. So, it's not about being more productive or just doing less. It's really about deciding what's important to you and creating a life that makes that possible.

As I recorded this episode a few weeks ago, I was at the tail end of a really busy six month season. In the last few weeks I finished up developing an online course (by the time this is published, it will be available and if you struggle with being overwhelmed, you can check it out at Cure Overwhelm), I'm getting this podcast to launch and my business has dramatically and unexpectedly picked up this month. It will get better, but in the short term, I'm too busy. Too rushed. Spread too thin.

It's easy to pay lip service to what's really important to us. Our essentials often include our family, friends, career, queso dip. Yeah, that was cheesy. But, I tossed that on top to remind you that everyone has different essentials. However you define your essentials, it's very easy to let other stuff get in the way and crowd them out. I've realized some of the things that I say are essential could easily be pushed aside right now and I made a conscious choice to not let that happen.

I've made two commitments to keep my attention where I want it.

First, my workouts are a priority. I decided in advance that I'm not going to try to find more time by cheating on my workouts. My health is not only one of my essentials, but one of the things that makes it possible to do everything else. It would be really easy to take one day a week off. Or a week. Or just skip a workout here and there when I need to finish extra work. But I won't. Workouts are non-negotiable me time.

Second. The real essential in life is my 11 year old son. It's easy to be so busy hustling at work or at goals that we let the people around us drift off to the outskirts of our attention. Rather than arbitrarily deciding what would keep that from happening this month I decided to ask him to help find a solution.

I said, "I'm in a super busy season right now, and it should be improving in about a month, but until then, I don't want you to feel like you're any less important to me than my work. Because you're infinitely more important. What can we do in the next 30 days that will make sure that we stay connected and you feel valued?" He thought for a few moments and said, "Mom, I'm a fact guy. I love random facts. How about we each find an interesting fact each day and share it and talk about it for a little while each night?"

Child. That's brilliant.

I would never in a million years have thought up that idea. But, it's perfect. And we've been doing it (mostly) consistently and I think it's working. He's feeling valued and I'm feeling less guilty, because I'm able to give him exactly the kind of time he requested. Fact time isn't the only time I spend with him, but he knows I'm making that particular time for him because he's a priority.

Episode Artwork: Connect To Your Essentials

Connect To Your Essentials

Lots of colorful, urgent, attractive, good, interesting, and worthwhile things have a tendency to get between us and what we say is essential. In this piece the essentials are represented by the bright yellow area in the top part of the piece. And all those things that get in the way are shown by most of the other colors.

While you certainly can do a full on overhaul and clear everything non-essential away (and, this is a great thing to do), sometimes that's just not possible for a season. What can you do then?

Make intentional choices that help keep your focus on the essentials intact while you work through life until you reach a place you have more margin. These decisions are the red rings throughout the image that lead to and connect to the essentials.

What can you do to connect to your essentials today?

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